DIRTY SECRETS

Hmmmm....marriage is so simple and sweet but people like to complicate things. Some people are just not balanced until their life is complicated -a complicated person makes a complicated marriage.

Keeping secrets from your spouse is one habit that will surely land you in trouble.

I often tell singles: do not marry a person you cannot reveal your heart to, never marry someone who cannot accept you completely because of your defects, flaws and past mistakes -NEVER! If you need to hide certain information from your spouse before they can accept you, you are definitely marrying the wrong person. Your own life partner will accept you completely and perfectly just the way you are. I mean PERFECTLY THE WAY YOU ARE.

 I was not proud of my background. I came from a poor home and my dad was everything I wanted to forget. I had some serious flaws, a handicapping condition and a sore toe that had been left rotten for 10 good years -I was scared of surgery, I didn't have money for it anyway so my toe was left to rot. Lastly, I had serious spiritual problems which made me paranoid and neurotic at times. Oh, I forgot to add this one, I have had relationships that didn't work and I was not the type of lady you would turn your head at and whistle, I was so slim from hunger, had a big set of teeth, was shapeless and had no good clothes. Enough to scare a man?

We started out as friends. I think he got attracted to my brain and vivacious personality, I was a brainy at school -a first class lady and the no-nonsense type. I was the Bible study co-ordinator for my fellowship so that was a plus. He was a brainy too but very quiet, easy going and so cool headed so the friendship just hit off with beautiful sparks. He loves intellectually stimulating discussions that triggers beneficial arguements, intelligent questions and mind blowing answers. I was his match, nothing turns me on like a very intelligent man. I hate stupidity and everything that goes with it.

We fell in love, no, rightly put, he fell in love with me. With time, I discovered he was my opposite. He came from a clean background -a dad you could be proud of, his spiritual life was so beautiful, I was the first and only love of his life and so on and so on. I love him too much to deceive, lie or pretend to him before he lost all of his head into the relationship, I had to tell him everything he needed to know about me -from my background to my health and he should make his decision. He told me he didn't see any of my flaws, all he saw was a beautiful, intelligent young lady with a bright future and he was interested in helping me fulfil my deepest dreams and goals.

Looking deep into my eyes on one of our dates, he told me he has never met any lady as open and honest as I am, my sincerity and honesty made him go completly crazy for me and he would never let me go.

"Marry me," he told me 2 years after and 10 years after we've known each other, my marriage is everything I dream it to be. I don't have a sore toe anymore. Hubby encouraged me to go for surgery. With his tender love and great care, I've added flesh. He said he loves my set of teeth just the way they are. Anyway, they are not as big as when I was so slim, hubby is just crazy about them. Then my body shape,don't let us go there, the guy just like to stare and whistle and then he treats my defects like they do not exist and still handles me with so much tenderness, gentleness, care and love.

Our marriage has its own challenges but HONEST COMMUNICATION and CONFESSIONS have always helped us a great deal. Never begin your marriage on a foundation of deceit and lies. What you used to attract your spouse is what you will use to keep him. If you begin your marriage with lies you will keep it with lies and live in perpetual guilt, condemnation and shame for the rest of your life. And guess what? Sooner or later, your spouse will discover and everything will crash.

Be honest with your spouse henceforth. Avoid shady deals. Never get involved in anything your spouse does not approve of. Learn to be discreet and honest. Be contented with whatever you have. Do not steal your spouse's money, create your own streams of income. Be a virtous woman and a wife to be proud of. Let your maker be proud of you...husbands be open and sincere in everything you do, the good Lord will surely help you.

Peace....