There is no perfect mother-in-law. Like your parents, she's got her strengths and weaknesses and she needs the same amount of love and forgiveness you show your parents.
Women often get the funny idea that when they get married, their mother-in-law should never talk but act like a dummy. She nods to all your instructions and do everything to the letter. No, relationships doesn't work like that. She is first of all, a mother to your sweetheart then a mother-in-law to you. If you accept her as your mum, that will be great. She's used to taking care of her son before you came along and you need to give her time to adjust to your coming in to her son's life.
Motherhood is not easy. It's not easy releasing the son you've nurtured for over 25 years to another woman without getting worried sick whether he is okay or not. This might be reasons you got "unwanted" lectures from her after you just got married.
It's maddening hearing your mother-in-law teach you how to cook soup for her son, ensure he adds weight, goes finicky and complains about everything in your home, your own home! Trust me, I've been there!
Mother-in-law would teach me what he needs to eat in the morning, got worried over him and lecture me on how to handle my kitchen. I was so angry and felt incompetent. Does she think I can't take care of her son or what? Then I gave birth to my son and my whole perspective completely changed. I noticed the same attitude in me. I'm very protective of my son and whenever it was time to visit grandma, I would tell my mother-in-law, "wear this for him," "use this soap," "add this to his food," "no,don't do this to him", "do that to him" and all manner of lectures that made the poor woman feel incompetent. The day that realization dawned on me, I was sober, my eyes were misty and I looked at my precious mother-in-law with love and compassion. Truly, it's not easy releasing your child. I was always worried sick each time my son went to spend his holiday with her and I often wander if he was well taken care of. That was how she felt when her son got married too. She was worried about his welfare!
I don't get angry at her anymore. I love her so dearly and seek her opinion on anything I do not understand about motherhood. She is always there to guide me and I count myself among the lucky women blessed with a godly mother-in-law. She loves me to a fault. Pampers me when I'm sick and you will hear her behind closed doors lecturing her son on how to take good care of a wife. She hates to see her daughters-in-law in pain. I am indeed blessed.
Learn to accept your mother-in-law for who she is, do not see her as your enemy because she's not. Study her temperament, learn her love languages and if you can understand her better, you will enjoy a blissful relationship with her and heaven on earth in your marriage
Please do not hate your mother-in-law. Love her like your own mother.
God bless you.
Had same experience. We are now best friends.
ReplyDelete